Timefall: Chapter 6 (by Elliot Bowers)

_____Franklin Township's firefighting squad was east on

Hamilton, so it was a straight ride to one of the

explosion sites. When it was full daylight, after the

morning mist had rolled over the land and cleared away

the night, the firefighters geared up and rode a firetruck

west. Going to one of the scenes of disaster. Yes,

there were TWO explosions last night.

_____So they came--the firefighters. Two long and heavy

firetrucks rode down Hamilton Street with heavy morning

traffic on both lanes. This two-lane roadway went straight

through Franklin Township, and it handled traffic from all

over. Though having to get through traffic, the firefighters

riding the well-equipped firetrucks were somewhat thankful

that they did not have to hurry as much as they would have

during another type of emergency: according to the police

already on-scene, the explosion had not produced local fires.

_____Therefore, this was just an inspection and clean-up

operation. There was rubble, and there was a chance that

survivors were trapped inside. Or, worse, there were

bodies... Finding bodies, that was worse--it always was.

Pulling the dead from the remains of disaster. But some

people had to do it. Firefighters did it.

_____And soon, one firetruck arrived at the scene on

Hamilton. The second firetruck rode further down and took

a left--going to the mini-dump. This firefighting team here

would handle this scene.

_____And what a scene. Driving into the commercial plaza

and hopping off the firetruck, the firefighters saw the

results of the explosion. Bolton's Car Repair Garage was

gone. Now there was but a reduced and charred heap of

bricks, twisted metal, and pipes. Two attached shops were

damaged, but repairable.

_____After the heavily-clad firefighters checked over the

rubble, themselves walking on it for some moments, they

confirmed that it was safe for the police to walk on. The

police then brought out trained dogs--the dogs that

immediately set to work sniffing out possible victims...

_____Soon, the dogs smelled something.... They seemed quite

hesitant. Sniffing around a part of the rubble near the

front. And then, the firefighters went to work with heavy

gloves on their hands--also helping to look for victims.

_____"I found someone!" shouted one of the firefighters.

He had picked up one more random chunk of concrete, and saw

a right hand. Luckily, it was a right hand still attached

to the arm... Poking out from beneath, the rest of the body

buried.

_____In a hurry, the rest of the firefighters on-scene and

the police all set to work tossing aside rubble, pairs of

gloved hands and bare hands to do the work. Soon, they

found two females.

_____They tried everything on the victims right there. They

tried rescue breathing. And they checked for pulses. The

firefighters had medical people on their team, and they tried

everything. But they were just over-reacting: The two victims

were dead long before the rescuers had arrived on-scene.

_____Two bodies, fully intact and without external wounds--

though their clothes had been destroyed in the explosion.

Both female, about five feet tall, in their late teens or

early twenties--pale complexions and fluffy brown hair.

Laid out atop the rubble, the bodies had skin and hair

dusted with soot and powdered brick.

_____"Damn," said one of the firefighters. He had a daughter

back at home, and he knew that the parents of these two

young women were going to be very upset when they got the

news. And, this firefighter knew that the other firefighters

and the police here were just as saddened.

_____"For God's sake, somebody cover 'em up..." said somebody.

This firefighter then took off his flame-proof coat, then

knelt to cover the two bodies with the coat. But he found

he did not have the strength to stand again. His hurt was

emotional, not physical.

_____He knelt there, feeling the sadness detach him from

everything. Making everything seem distant. In the background,

he heard the distant chatter of the firetruck's communications

radio and the walkie-talkies of the police. They were

calling in the results to the police station, describing

those found dead.

_____"Wait a minute..." said a female police officer, her

dark uniform as dusted as others. She pulled the big

firefighting coat enough to see the faces of the dead

bodies. "These two 'girls' belong to Mr. Dark's office."

_____"What's that supposed to mean? Belong?" asked a male

officer. "They used to work with Parks & Recreation? Hmm...

That Mr. Dark is not gonna be too happy to lose two workers..."

_____"No, you don't get it," continued the female officer.

"These two BELONG to Mr. Dark. His office OWNS them, like

we own our cars. Those two are not real people. They just

LOOK dead."

_____"What the HELL are you talking about? These two are

DEAD!" shouted the second officer. "They're dead! No pulse!

And the firefighters' medics tried everything! They don't

belong to anybody, but their bodies belong to the parents or

next-of-kin! Now we have to..."

_____"DAMN it, Murphy! You don't get it!" shouted the first

officer. "These two are with Mr. Dark. Don't you know what's

up with Mr. Dark's team?"

_____"I don't give a damn!" shouted the second officer, the

one called Murphy. "Mr. Dark just works in the recreation

building! Who the HELL is he SUPPOSED to be? I'll tell you

who. Just another bureaucrat..."

_____Those officers argued while the firefighter still knelt

on the rubble. He heard the argument between two of the

officers, but he did not listen. Through eyesight blurring

with tears, he looked on the faces of the dead. A miracle

that the bodies were not externally damaged by the explosion.

But a very odd miracle. Normally, bodies are dismembered and

otherwise mutilated by severe blasts.

_____"Look! I'll show YOU something!" shouted the female

officer. She lunged to kneel by the bodies. She took a

sharp piece of metal that lie nearby, then used it make a cut

across the forehead of one of the dead. "See? NOT BLOOD! If

these two were HUMAN, even if they were dead, THERE WOULD BE

TRACES OF BLOOD! They're NOT REAL!"

_____Everyone paused. The quick-moving female officer had

cut her hand in cutting the skin of one of the "dead," but

drops of her blood was all the blood there was. Indeed,

the body she cut did not have blood--but a clear sort of

liquid.

_____Using a syringe from one of the firefighters' medical

kits, Officer Murphy pierced the skin of the other body.

And he tried to draw a blood sample. But there was no

blood. What the HELL...?

_____"THEY'RE NOT REAL!" shouted the female officer. "Not

everybody knows about them, thank God, but those two are

gynoids. And they're not dead! They're just shut down,

and they can be fixed."

_____Dumbstruck, the second officer spoke. "Then what do

we do with them? Send'em to the junkyard?"

_____"Didn't you hear her?" said the kneeling firefighter.

"These two are Mr. Dark's property. If he owns them, he

ought to be able to fix 'em." He stood up. Speaking to

the female officer he said, "Okay, do you need help loading

them into a car?"

_____"I could use the help..." said the female officer.

Working together, she and that firefighter carried the

two "dead" gynoids to one of the police cruisers. They

closed the doors. Then that officer started the engine

and drove out of the commercial plaza's lot--getting onto

Hamilton Street and driving east. Going toward the

municipal complex...

_____Actually, that female officer was directed to the

explosion site by way of radioed instructions from the township's

mayor himself. The officer was on solitary instructions to

retrieve the gynoids and bring them to Mr. Dark's office. Of

course, the mayor could have had all the police specifically

go on-site to retrieve gynoids--but not all the officers

would believe what they were "rescuing" from the rubble...

_____But that would have meant telling all of the police force

about the existence of synthetic people. And the less people

who knew about humanoid robots, the better. So, the officer

drove alone, bringing the gynoids to the municipal complex.

_____Mr. Dark himself was at the police station last night,

sitting by and awaiting the results. When the radio calls

came in about the explosions, he knew that somethings went

wrong. He chose to go to the scene of Gally's action--to the

junkyard. If Gally were destroyed, it would be his fault; he

dropped her off...

_____While an officer drove the gynoids to the municipal

complex, Mr. Dark had rode with police officers to the

mini dump. Police cruisers parked on the nearby road, parked

with a firetruck, Mr. Dark and the uniformed officers were in

the junkyard.

_____They went to the right, were the management building

once was. ONCE was, because now there was a big wide hole

in the ground--an explosion crater the size of a small house.

And some metal junk had tumbled from nearby junkpiles to

fall into the crater.

_____The morning sun at his right, Mr. Dark rolled up the

sleeves of his white shirt, then loosened his tie as he

looked down into the crater--junk at the bottom. He

thought the crater looked like a giant bowl, with

oatmeal-colored scrap metal at the bottom. Damn, did the Night

People catch Gally with the explosion?

_____Some police officers stood by. "Don't get too close

to the rim of the crater, Mr. Dark. We don't know how

stable the surface is," said one of the officers. "We need

to wait for the fire department to finish checking the rest

of this junkyard for hidden fires."

_____"I know somethings about explosion craters, too. Part

of my last profession, you know," said Mr. Dark. "With the

size of this explosion, we really can't be sure what happened."

He turned left to face the officer who spoke. "Any damage

to neighborhood homes?"

_____"Some people called about the lights flickering a bit

and their televisions getting interference," said a second

officer. "But otherwise..." Then the officer grabbed his

head. He suddenly had a massive headache.

_____NO-O-O DAMAGE... No damage? Heh heh heh! Look around!

Think around! I AM THE ARM! The damage is IN THE BREEZE!

_____"Who's saying that?" Mr. Dark asked aloud. around. "Did

you hear that?" The officers looked at him oddly. "Did you

hear someone say, 'No damage?' Then say that there was damage

in the breeze?"

_____Then he heard the voice again, a funny sounding sort

of voice in his head. It was laughing, the sound of laughing

in his head. Mr. Dark looked around, and saw the police

officers rubbing their foreheads, and looking around. "Do

you hear it too?"

_____Some of the police officers began looking around at

the piles of junk, looking for the source of the voice they

heard. Others began to shake their heads, as if they had been

dazed by blows to the head. They were hearing the voices,

too.

_____Then a gray-colored mist billowed up from the crater.

It surrounded the officers, surrounded Mr. Dark, and blocked

out sight of everything. It was like the smoke that came

at sunrise, but that smoke was already done and gone for

this morning. Now something else happened. What the...?

_____....The Little Man sat at the formica table, surrounded

by darkness. Darkness all around and above, with only the

table visible. The Little Man was dressed in a red business

suit and red slacks, seated with his hands on the table.

"NO DAMAGE?" he asked aloud.

_____He shook his head. "Something is...in THE breeze!"

he said. "The wind BLOWS! And something rides with the

sunlight! Something to return to the game!"

_____A short, steel-colored candle appeared on the table.

On the side of the candle, there was a name: Gally. The

ink used to write the name was dark--as dark as the darkness

all around the table. The candle's wick was charred,

as if it had been snuffed out.

_____"Try AGAIN!" shouted the Little Man, staring at the

candle on the tabletop. There were little flickers and

sparks. "Try AGAIN!"

_____The candle lit. And the Little Man laughed... Laughed,

as the Gally candle was once again lit in the world.

_____...Mr. Dark and the officers looked around. They had

slight headaches, but they were all fully conscious and

still on their feet after that. Even after that.

_____"What the HELL?" exclaimed one of the officers. "Did

you see that? I was standing RIGHT HERE, and I some sorta

God-damned midget sitting at a table."

_____"Yeah, I saw it," said another officer. "Smoke came

up out of the crater, and I saw it, too... Wait, let's

go over what we saw. Maybe we just hallucinated."

_____Mr. Dark spoke up. "I saw everything. It was the

Little Man, seated at a table. He said some weird things,

and then a candle lit by itself. The candle had Gally's

name written on it. It had to mean something."

_____"Oh, the Gally that was here at the junkyard?" asked

another officer. "Did she cause this?"

_____"Wait," interrupted another officer. "I want to know

more about what the HELL I just saw! What we ALL saw! It

didn't make any DAMNED sense! How did we all hallucinate

the same DAMNED thing at the same time? And who the HELL

is this 'Little Man' I keep hearing about?"

_____Trying to explain, Mr. Dark said, "The so-called Little

Man seems to be closely related to the phenomena that happen

at night. People have sometimes seen him during the day, in

rare instances. But primarily, he is seen at night by some

people stranded outside after sundown."

_____"Yeah, that makes sense...a little bit," said a third

officer. "But what does he have to do with what happens

at night? Is he responsible? Because if that's the case..."

_____"Hah, hah... No, just the opposite," responded Mr. Dark.

"In fact, I think he's been trying to stop what's happening.

He ought to be rewarded, in fact... If he's real."

_____"What do you mean by that?" asked the third officer.

"'If he's real'? If people have been seeing the Little

Man all over town, then he CAN'T be some kinda hallucination."

_____Mr. Dark shrugged. Then he heard a sound. A sound

of junk being shifted. He turned to the right, looked down

into the crater. He saw it, saw two metal hands reaching up

out of the junk at the bottom of the pit. Gally was there!

_____"What the HELL is that?" exclaimed somebody. And

the officers were silent as the pair of metal hands moved

aside enough junk to climb up out. Metal hands attached

to metal arms, on a metal body. Atop the petite metal

body was a normal head of a dark-haired girl. A metal-

bodied girl.

_____"What the Hell is that?" asked that same officer

again. "I thought the freaks only came out at night! What's

going on?"

_____"Oh, Gally is not a freak," said Mr. Dark. "Where

she comes from, being metal-bodied is normal." He looked

on as Gally used two junked metal rods to climb her way out

of the crater--sticking them in the dirt to climb up. And

then the petite metal-bodied girl was here.

_____Standing out and away from the crater, she blinked, her

large dark eyes taking in the morning view. All around at

the rim of this crater, men and women in uniforms looked at

her--they were the police. Big Mr. Dark stood here, with

his tie loose and professional shirt with arm sleeves

rolled up. "A surprising morning, Mr. Dark," she said.

_____"Oh, SHIT! Is that thing FOR REAL?" asked an officer.

"How the HELL?" The officers stood in awe at the metal-bodied

girl. Otherwise, it would have looked as if she wore form-fitting

armor. But the "armor" was her body.

_____Mr. Dark smiled. He walked close, patted Gally on one

of her metal shoulders. "Come on, kid. I think Dr. Briette

will really want to take a look at you. And I'll be glad

to give you a ride back to the municipal complex with me."

_____As Gally, Mr. Dark, and some dumbstruck officers made

their way out of the junkyard, there was a slightly gray

cloud in the sky. High overhead, high over the junkyard.

It wasn't there before, but there it was... The other

clouds in the morning sky were white, but this cloud was

not. And it sparkled a bit. The wind blew, and the gray

cloud moved with other clouds. Going to the west...

_____Gally carefully sat there on the passenger side of

this ordinary town car. It looked new and was of moderate

size--the sort of car that well-paid office workers owned.

Her metal knees together and metal arms crossed over her

abdomen, she thought about the situation.

_____She knew that something went wrong. Something was

out of place. Something unexpected had come to pass. And

Gally did not need the facial analysis programming of a

gynoid to know that Mr. Dark was disappointed.

_____She glanced at Mr. Dark, his eyes on the road ahead.

The morning traffic on Hamilton Street had thinned by now,

but it would still be a few more minutes before getting to

the municipal complex. Mr. Dark had something else on his

mind other than driving.

_____He spoke. "When I say what I have to say, you will

probably want to kill me. Or kill someone. So do it

before we reach the municipal complex."

_____THAT statement shook Gally out of her meditative mood.

Her large eyes widened, and she stared at that man at the

wheel. "Huh? How could you say such, Mr. Dark?"

_____"I'll tell you," said Mr. Dark, sounding older than

he looked. "Apparently, you and the gynoids managed to do

SOMETHING. You did something about what was happening to

this town. Because, for just a moment, the night turned

normal. The stars were visible for the first time in

over a year, and there were no more freaks on the street.

But destroying those odd machines only temporarily stopped the

trouble.

_____"So maybe the problems will never go away, and you

could be stuck in this time period forever. Forever forced

to help stop the Night People and their weirdness. So go

ahead, kill me. Kill me, Gally, for getting you into this

whole damned mess."

______As the petite cyborg listened to this, her pert mouth

was parted in shock. Her eyes were open in a wide stare.

She heard this man surrendering himself because he felt

that he had failed. Then her eyes narrowed--darkened with

anger.

_____She shouted, "DO YOU WANT TO DIE A DOG'S DEATH?" Gally

saw Mr. Dark grip the steering wheel and saw a flinch on

his face. So the petite cyborg spoke on.

_____"You yet live, Mr. Dark! Where there is life, there is

hope! You have not yet died in struggle against the Night

People! Though townspeople have been killed, though people

have fallen before you, YOU still stand against the opposition.

Do not surrender, Mr. Dark! Do not surrender."

_____Mr. Dark carefully stopped at a stop light. "Do you

really think there's still a way, Gally? Or do you really

think that there is a stop to what's happening to this town.

Or a stop to what's happening at all?"

_____Still with full morale, the cyborg-girl answered.

"But the trouble of this town has NOT spread. If the Night

People and their strange machines could have gone to other

towns, they WOULD HAVE DONE SO. Yet, they have not. Therefore,

they could not. Hope yet remains. Life yet remains."

_____Mr. Dark suddenly smiled, a happy twinkle back in his

blue eyes. "Good! That's what I wanted to hear! You're

still on my side. Then we can go hunt down the last

reality altering machine and put an end to what' happening."

_____"Deception!" shouted Gally. "You used DECEPTION!"

Gally thought that Mr. Dark's talk was an honest outpouring

of how he felt. He seemed to be baring his deepest thoughts.

But no, he was not. He played on Gally's sympathy and will!

_____"Well, it was a sort of deception," said Mr. Dark.

The stop light turned green, and he started this car

forward again. Driving and talking smoothly, he explained.

"But you're a bit of deception yourself, Gally. See, I used

my office computer to take a look at the diagnostics

info on you--the information read by the autodoc on your

brain and body.

_____"Your brain is immortal, Gally, and I assumed you're

just as wise--though you look so young and cute. You are

a lot of wisdom and strength in a cute and little package.

Being wiser and stronger than you look, I knew you wouldn't

kill me in anger!"

_____Gally looked away from Mr. Dark. She looked out the

side-window. "I lack a variety of options at this time,

Mr. Dark. My only hope, in fact, is through you--my hope

of going home. Only you know the people who can return me."

_____"True enough, Gally! True enough!" said Mr. Dark.

"Well now, let me be honest. Things aren't so down and

doomed. We still have a big chance in stopping the trouble,

because WE KNOW WHAT'S MAKING IT! And..."

_____HIS-S-S... The car's radio--set in the dashboard--was

making this HISSING sound. "You didn't touch the radio...

Did you, Gally?" asked Mr. Dark.

_____"I did not touch it," she said. "Something else is

the cause of its activation. Or..." Gally's voice darkened.

"Or, if not something--someone."

_____Mr. Dark took a guess. "Is it who I think it is? Why

would he interfere with the...? Never mind. We'd better

listen if that Little Man is pirating the radio waves..."

And as soon as Mr. Dark said that, the radio's hissing sound

went down.

_____And on the radio, coming through the slight static,

there was a distant-sounding voice. A voice that spoke

oddly.

_____"A part of a STRA-A-NGE MACHINE...is IN THE breeze!

Above the...OATMEAL! Look up to the slow blueness to see

it. Yet it waits for more!"

_____Mr. Dark exclaimed, "That's the Little Man! I heard

him back at the junkyard!" And as soon as Mr. Dark said

that, the radio's hissing sound stopped. The voice was

gone as well. "How the HELL does he do all of this?"

_____"'Hell,' indeed," commented Gally. "The Little Man has

appeared to me in dreams. He passed riddles to me, spoke

in phrases with meanings behind them. And somehow, I

think his riddles have come to match what passes." She

then turned her head to look at Mr. Dark. "A sort of

cosmic joker."

_____"Hmmph. If he can appear in dream-places, why can't

he talk normally, then?" asked Mr. Dark. By now, he and

Gally were coming close to the municipal complex. The

road curved to the left, and he gently turned the wheel to

get through the curve. "We could use all the help we can

get, but that Little Man--whoever or whatever he is--is not

helping! Or maybe he can't help us any more than he is."

_____"That could very well be it," agreed Gally. "The

latter answer is an answer. But, WHY he helps is a larger

question... We all have clear motives, between us. But

HE does not."

_____On that, Mr. Dark had no answers. Vicki and Vannessa

were sided with him because they were really robots and

had to obey their human owners. Dr. Briette and Gally had

to obey Mr. Dark and work with the white office because,

otherwise, those two would not be transported back to their

home-times in the future. Mr. Dark ran the white office

because he had to obey orders--though he was no longer in

the Army. But the Little Man...

_____Who was in charge of the Little Man? Where the HELL

did that strange dwarf-midget come from? Maybe he came

from the same place those strange machines came from. Maybe

the Little Man took orders from some cosmological beings in

from another dimension beyond the universe. At least, the

Little Man was helping--in his odd little ways.

_____As Gally and Mr. Dark arrived at the municipal complex,

that slightly gray cloud in the sky drifted along. It drifted

above the town, going west. And then the cloud slowed to a

stop. This, though the clouds around it moved on. The odd

gray cloud seemed to wait in the sky. Waiting for someone.

And that person would come. A gray cloud in the sky...

_____That car turned right onto DeMott Lane--the street

where the municipal complex was located. The car then

turned right, into that area surrounded by trees. Indeed,

there are a lot of trees in Franklin Township. Lots of

trees... Forests of trees...

_____Trees... The breeze blew through the trees. It made

the tops of them sway. But there was something odd about

this breeze. People felt it, and they felt that something

was not quite right about how it blew...

_____And the breeze blew through the intersection where

Hamilton Street met DeMott lane. The stop light swung

in the breeze. Then it flickered, going from green to red.

As a result, some cars and a bus almost crashed. But the

bus did not.

_____This was a bus for general public transportation, a

bus that went straight along the long way of Hamilton

Street--all the way to Princeton. The seats were tall and

plush, with a surprisingly casually dressed bus driver, a

man with an insane mane of curly dark hair atop his tan-toned

and rugged face.

_____"Hey, bus driver man!" shouted someone from near the

back. "Stop this God-damned bus! I can't reach the damned

signal!" The voice was a whiny sort of boy voice, annoying

and cartoonish.

_____Since this was a stop light, the bus driver had time

enough to look into the mirror--the mirror that was set so

it gave a view back inside. "Who said that?" asked the

driver. "It's too nice a day to be so darned rude!"

_____"I said... STOP THE GOD-DAMNED BUS, ASSHOLE!" whined

the little boy, squeezing his short fat self into the

aisle as so he could be seen. And what a sight he was!

"Does the sound of your girlfriend's dildo make you DEAF?"

_____"What the...?" exclaimed the bus driver. In the mirror,

he saw the obnoxious boy. The rude, obnoxious boy could

not have been more than four feet tall. But yet, he was

almost just as wide. His pants, shirt and coat were more

suited for winter than the warm weather of now. About the

clothes... They must have been custom-made, because the

boy looked so wide! And he was dressed in winter clothing,

complete with little winter cap.

_____The bus driver chuckled. "Hey, round boy! You look

familiar! Aren't you from Colorado? I've heard about you!

You, with all that crazy talk that swirls around and burns

attitudes. Burning heads in the breeze!"

_____The fat boy's chubby face squinted. "What the HELL

have YOU been smoking? Sure as Hell wasn't TOBACCO! Just

let me off this God-damned bus, weed-head!" He stomped his

foot down, and the bus quivered.

_____"Okay, okay! I'll do what you do want to do, to do it

and DONE!" ranted the casually dressed bus driver, his

rugged face wearing a happy look. He opened the bus door

with a push of a button, and looked on with amusement as

the obnoxious fat boy squeezed his way through the aisles.

_____Finally, after many exclamations and offensive remarks,

the fat boy arrived up front. He began to step down the

steps to step off of the bus. When he stepped off, the

weight on the bus' suspension eased up considerably. And

the bus door closed. Then the bus drove away, with the bus

driver laughing...

_____The fat boy stood on the left-side sidewalk of DeMott

Lane. Behind him was a more woodsy part of Hamilton Street--

with some houses and trees across the street. "Ah, Franklin

Township..." he mumbled to himself. "Ned said I'd find the

magic toothbrush here..." Though his friend Ned was smoking

some heavy shit at the time (smoking something other than

tobacco at the time), the fat boy had followed his advice--

and traveled bus routes all the way from Colorado to New

Jersey... To this suburb in New Jersey: this suburb called

of Franklin Township.

_____Now the fat boy, Eric Cartman, was here. High noon.

He saw a sign that pointed the way to the municipal

complex--where he would find the courts, the police station,

the library...

_____"Hmm... Maybe some of the sissy local hicks and prick

would know where I could buy a magic toothbrush..." he mumbled.

But then his big stomach growled. Screw that toothbrush for

now, he thought. "Damn I'm hungry!" And he smelled food.

He pivoted left on his out-of-season winter shoes and

began walking towards O'Connors, not far away at all...

_____After a quick walk through a rustic, gravel parking

lot, Cartman stepped into O'Connors--steak and ale house.

He stepped beyond the foyer and into the main room on the

first floor--some tables to the right with just some people

people there. At the left was a drinking bar, with big

Brennan the bartender serving some more of the townspeople

with drinks.

_____Then Brennan saw who stepped in: a wide little boy.

Weird, that little lad was dressed in winter garb. Out of

season, really... Now the fat lad waddled up close to the

bar. The little boy looked as if he stepped out of a

television cartoon and became a real little boy.

_____"Well now!" said the bartender. "What would ye be

havin', wee laddy?" Some people seated on nearby bar stools

turned to look at the fat boy Brennan spoke to. "A nice

ice cream float? A cup of coffee, caffeine-free? O' course,

I'd serve ya somethin' stronger, but yer a bit young!"

_____"Fuck that! I'm hungry!" said Cartman. He reached into his

right pocket and pulled out a thick roll of green-white money.

He peeled off a twenty dollar bill and waddled over, reached

up, to SLAP it on the bar. "Gimme food...!" Then, for

whatever reason, he had a real taste for something in

particular. "In fact, gimme some OATMEAL! With cinnamon

in it!"

_____For just a second, Brennan had an odd image in his

head. He had the brief and fleeting image of the Little

Man that everyone in town knew about. Just a mental glimpse.

And then Brennan was hesitant to have his waiters and

waitresses serve this little boy oatmeal.

_____"Hey!" whined the fat boy, Cartman. "What the fuck is

WRONG WITH YOU! Gimme my food! Gimme my food! Or I'll

CLIMB OVER YOUR GOD-DAMNED BAR AND KICK YOU IN THE NUTS!"

_____Brennan shook his head, shaken by rudeness and back

into the here and now. "If it's cinnamon oatmeal ye be

wantin'... Mary! Serve this rather rude lad a few bowls of

oatmeal, cinnamon!"

_____"Okay, I'll be right there!" said the waitress named

Mary. She was just over five feet tall, on the thin side,

with long blonde hair pinned back--was dressed in the uniform

black skirt and white blouse of this restaurant. "Welcome to

O'Connors!" said the cute-faced blonde waitress. She took the

fat boy by a hand, leading him away from the bar. "Let me show

you to a seat..."

_____Cartman was taken to a table near a window. The

waitress pulled back a chair, and Cartman sat in it.

"Thank you..." he said. "Now move your skinny ass! Get my

DAMNED OATMEAL, BITCH!"

_____"GOSH! Some people" said the blonde waitress, blushing

with humiliation and putting her hands on her hips. She

turned and left--going toward the side-door that led to the

kitchen area.

_____While the waitress was gone, Cartman put his hands

atop the table. He began to sing in a surprisingly high-pitched

voice, singing some kind of teen pop song that was popular

these days--therefore, a song that would be out of style

within weeks. But he sang it and looked out the window--not

noticing the stares at him.

_____The blonde waitress came back, bearing two bowls of

oatmeal on a tray, with napkin and spoon. "Here you go!

Two bowls of cinnamon oatmeal!" She lowered the tray and all,

put it onto the table before the seated fat boy. Soon as she

did that, the boy set to eating...

_____Mary stood there, watching the rude fat boy eat.

Though she had been peeved about being called a "bitch,"

she had realized that something was wrong with the fat boy.

He must have behaved that way for a reason. And he looked

hungry. Maybe he was a runaway?

_____She leaned over slightly, bending her knees a bit.

"Hey, little boy, where's your mommy? Are you lost?"

_____"Damn it, BITCH!" sputtered Cartman, a spray of

sodden oatmeal flakes coming from his mouth... Landing on

the cloth of the table and the cloth of Mary's uniform. "Do

I look lost? And right about now, my mom's probably screwin'

herself silly with a DILDO! Now LET ME EAT MY GOD-DAMNED

OATMEAL!"

_____The waitress exclaimed something obscene in German.

She then turned and strode from that table. Her face a deeper

shade of red and with oatmeal on her uniform blouse. She

strode away... Cartman went back to eating his oatmeal,

ignoring the stares of the townspeople.

_____Cartman was so consumed with eating his oatmeal that

he was surprised when it happened. In fact, anyone would.

Something roughly the size of an electric toothbrush flew

through the glass of the window--somehow went through the

glass as if the glass was not there. And with a PLOP, it

landed quite solidly in the second bowl of oatmeal.

_____"What the HELL IS THIS?" whined Cartman. "Eww...

Hmm..." he said, reaching with his left hand into the second

bowl of oatmeal. He pulled out the odd and elongated object

that fell into it. It was something dark gray and made out

of metal. He shook the oatmeal off of it, then looked at it.

_____"That's funny..." he muttered to himself. Something was

odd about this electric toothbrush-sized object. It sparkled

just a bit, and it was slightly heavier than it should have

been for an object of its size. Holding this object gave him

an odd feeling. Why, this was... This was...

_____"I found a magic toothbrush, assholes! Aah-heh-heh-heh..."

he laughed. He stood up from the table, object in his

left hand. He reached into his right pocket to get a tip

for the waitress. His money wasn't there. Then he reached

into his other pocket, thinking about money... "What the

HELL...?"

_____Cartman felt all sorts of things now in his left pocket,

then he pulled out a few hundred dollar bills. He put the

dollar bills back, then reached in again. Again, he pulled

more hundred-dollar bills out of his left pocket.

_____He looked at the object he had now held in his right

hand. It gave him...UNLIMITED CASH! Cool, an infinite

bank account in his left pocket! "Heh, this really IS a

magic toothbrush! Hell YEAH! Cool! Yeah, cool! Aah-

heh-heh-heh..."

_____Later that day, after that weird fat boy left the

restaurant, there were PLENTY of people looking at the table

where he had sat. Because there was plenty of cash on the

table. A pile of hundred-dollar bills was left there, more

than enough for several good meals here.

_____"Aye, somebody's new in town," said the bartender,

looking way over there at the money on one of the tables.

Mary stood by Brennan's side behind the bar, listening to

her boss comment. "Quite a troublemaker of a lad, I

s'ppose..." And Mary had the idea that Brennan was right.

As if this town didn't have enough problems.